Evil knitting. Evil.

So I've taken a bit of inspiration from some of my favorite blogs and decided to take up knitting again. Apparently it's quite trendy now. Go figure.

Upon following Kristy's blog (go he'ya: She just walks around with it) I became slightly interested. At least enough to dig up some old projects I never finished. Then I came across Aunt Purl (and he'ya: Crazy Aunt Purl) and that was enough for me. I was definately going to start scrounging around in my craft room and start dusting off THOSE boxes. The boxes that I have lugged around with me for years. The same boxes I lugged from my parents house to my first hole-in-the-wall studio. The exact boxes I've convinced myself that no matter how little space I had I would HAVE to - have have have to - make room for. because why? who knows. because I made the stuff and even though it's not finished I may one day decide to finish. And ha! HA HA! Today is the day!

In these boxes, admidst all the balls of yarn that I bought for no particular project but just because they were cute and soft and fluffy, there lay two unfinished projects. Two projects of, well, ahem, slightly large proportions. Two afghans to be specific. And you know what really sucks about this idea of mine to finish up some old projects? I don't really want to work on afghans because I don't really WANT any afghans. But what I don't want to do is continue to lug around friggin' boxes for all eternity only to never finish them. Because it would be much better to lug around afghans I never use. This is where the OCD rears it's ugly head. Must finish. Must, at all costs no matter how much I don't want to, finish.

So this is what I'm dealing with here:

And here is an picture with Bartlebeast for scale:


Wine glass at my side and an episode of Friends going in the background I settled into the couch for what I expected to be a highly productive and relaxing evening of finishing my damn projects.

Oh how naive I can be. how very very naive.

15 minutes into it: huh, there appears to be markers here for a reason. interesting. I imagine at some point that reason will magically make itself known.

25 minutes into it: still not sure why the markers are here, but um, well let's just keep going.

30 minutes into it: huh, it appears to be bumpy on the wrong side. crap. not good. crap crap crap. Ok, time to make an executive decision here about WHY what I'm knitting looks like it belongs on a DIFFERENT afghan.

32 minutes into it: wine

35 minutes into it: apparently I've majorly messed this up. should have trusted instincts about markers.

40 minutes into it: ooooookay...frog time - nothing like UNdoing work you just did when the goal is, really, to be honest, to MAKE progress.

55 minutes into it: alright, back to making progress.

65 minutes into it: knit 4, purl 16, knit 4, purl 16, knit 4, purl...oh for the love of...14? why do I only have 14 stiches left?

75 minutes into it: Grrrrrrrrr

80 minutes into it: SCREW THIS CRAPPY AFGHAN

85 minutes into it: where's the husband? why does the clock say 12:37am?

90 minutes into it: SCREW KNITTING. SCREW THE EVIL KNITTING.

Summary:
2 rows added
- 4 rows ripped out
+ 2 glasses of wine =
--------------------
NEGATIVE TWO ROWS

Final Score:
Mary: 0
Evil afghan: 1

My attempt at making progress on this unfinished progress has set me back 2 rows.

And I blame it ALL on my drug dealer:

You know you want more wine mom. yum yum wine!

I knew I never should have taught him how to use a bottle opener.