Cat Collecting?

As I'm eating my lunch today I stumbled across this little story about a cat "lover".

Apparently the neighbors complained of a "stench" which is what brought this veritable cat breeding farm to the attention of the authorities.

A stench?

How about calling the po-po about the fact that it smells like the County has moved the waste water treatment plant next door?

People, there were cats crawling in her WALLS. And let us not forget she had 86 cat carcasses just lying around. Perhaps she felt that rigor-mortis was just as good as taxidermy?

Now I know how easy it can be to take on large quantities of felines. They're cute...and we've covered this, they're so darn snuggly-wuggly.

But.

Seriously, a big literary "but".

COME ON!

What sort of level of lunacy are we talking about? They started inbreeding and multiplying! Are we to assume here that this woman just went about her daily business like it was normal to uncover that, yet again, one of her cats had a litter of kittens?

CrazyCatLady: Now let's see...where DID I leave my coffee cup. Oh look at that, more kittens. Huh...darn coffee cup, where could it be?

And what about the inbreeding? Did she think the extra eyes, tails, and limbs added charm to the cats?

You can imagine my surprise when I read that not only does she have a husband, but also has a daughter. All of which who LIVED in this house. Of course this woman is, like, 82 years-old which would make her daughter roughly in her 50's if not older. Living at home with mom and dad at the age of 50? Why NOT collect cats? And the husband? What's his excuse for not running for the hills? I'm thinking that the ammonia from all the cat piss has eroded these people's brains.

And how do you sleep?

Seriously.

How?

If anyone has an answer I'd love to hear it because I only have 2 cats and sometimes they keep me up at all hours of the night and they're not even allowed in my bedroom. I think they must be doing construction work in the living room. And I think to myself they must be building me a new entertainment unit or something. And yet every morning I come out and there's NOTHING to be found. Maybe they're constructing a means to escape. A tank or helicopter perhaps?

Huh. A theory to explore another time.

Anyway.

I just don't get it. And I know that not all things in life are meant to be gotten. But seriously. What the fuck?

And THEN, after the po-po kicked her and her merry band of cat-HOARDERS out, boarded up her doors, and left to have a scone and a latte, she returned to smuggle cats out. Yes, in fact, 30 of them. What sort of vehicle do you suppose she had? It better be a big one because I can't imagine trying to cram 30 cats into my 4-door sedan.

And it is at this point that I find extreme amounts of humor in this whole situation. This 82 year-old woman trying to squeeze 30 inbred cats into her car to "rescue" them.

CrazyCatLady: Now Fluffy, move your tail just a bit so I can squeeze FuzzBuns in there - no, your OTHER tail. There we go...now I'll just shut the door...oh I'm so sorry Tiger! Did I get your leg in the door? Oh dear...well, you have 5 others so I'm sure you'll be live.

What else can I possibly say about this. The woman needs a new hobby.