Send wine. And maybe some boxes.

As much as I’m sure all of you have been enjoying my silence…

Who am I kidding…are any of you even checking my blog with any regularity anymore?

Hello?

Anyone?

So you all will have to excuse the unintentional void that has been my blog for, what, like months and month and more months?

Last you checked in here, I got a new job.

That “new job” is no longer something I would consider “new”. It has quickly become the old crotchety pain in the ass job that we all love because it pays our bills, but makes us yearn for our weekends with even more vigor.

I have been pushed, pulled, wrung out, hung out, and left to pick up the pieces. I’m sure I saw new wrinkles on my face last week, every day I’m sure I’ll find my first grey hair (none yet thank you God!), can’t stay awake past 11pm, and have (for the first time) officially said “I need a glass of wine” upon coming home before kissing my husband hello.

And have subsequently done that at least 5 more times in the past 2 weeks.

We go through a lot of wine now.

Good thing they sell the good stuff in boxes now.

But!

That’s all part of being the new kid on the block.

You start a new job and you have a rookie card.

After a while you get to know your way around the office and your rookie card slowly starts to make fewer appearances.

Then you are held completely accountable for anything and everything. Rookie no more.

Then the person you are replacing LEAVES.

Then the shit hits the fan – 78 things all go wrong at the same time – and you want to take up Cocaine.

But you can’t because you’re vain and like that little piece of flesh that divides your nostrils into two distinct holes.

And these 78 things? Not your fault. Not in the least.

It’s just the universe.

Playing a funny, ha-ha, trick on you.

78 totally unusual, unlikely, blue-moon, perfectly aligned stars, kind of things happen.

All within 2 weeks of each other.

And all of this is going down at work while some particularly crazy things are happening in your private life.

This is the real reason I’m blogging today.

To make a few announcements to the blogosphere on behalf of myself and my husband.

(Clearing throat)

Today I would like to make a few statements, and then provide a few answers.

If I do not answer a question here – it is entirely likely we don’t have one as of yet.

Sometimes in life, we just don’t know.

And no, I’m not pregnant. So all you family members out there can stop getting excited.

Here are the developments (roughly in order):

- we decided to sell the house

- The husband lost his job

- The husband graduated

- The husband started a new job

- The husband is currently in France (bastard)

Here are some answers regarding the house:

- yes, we are selling it to our partner

- the transaction will roughly take place early July – we will be moving out by end of July

- yes, we will be moving apartments, most likely up the Peninsula

- no, we don’t know if we’re buying another house

- no, we don’t know where we’re going to live

- yes, we’re considering moving apartments because it is no longer strategically located near our jobs

Here are some answers regarding The Husband loosing his job

- they were evil bastards and we hated their guts

Here are some answers regarding The Husbands new job:

- he’s in France for training (bastard)

- no, we are not moving to France (so very sad)

- his new office is in San Francisco in a very high building with a view of Pac Bell park from his desk (did I mention he’s a bastard?)

Ok, that’s it! Band Aid is off!

As you can see, we’ve been, um, busy. And it’s far from over. As I see it, we’ll be moving twice in the next 2 or 3 months.

We are certainly embarking on the next chapter in our lives.

Actually, I think we’ve really crammed 4 or 5 chapters into just 3 months. But, you know, I don’t mind change, and it’s nice to get it all over with right?

Groan.

I need a vacation.

But we can’t take one because we both started new jobs and have no vacation time saved up! And any time we DO take off is going to be used for MOVING.

Sigh.

If anyone needs me I’ll be at Target stocking up on boxed wine.